the "other" inconvenient truth...

I know 5 people who just lost their fathers, in a span of 1 month.

I couldn't hide it anymore -- events like this scare me a lot. It's not just death per se, but being in that generation now where a lot lose their parents, at a time when they're about to build their own families. It makes me wonder -- when it's my time to lose a parent, will I be ready? And... "what if" I'm that widow he left?! Will I survive?

Then, this is when I recall a line I heard separately from my 2 community brothers, way way way back. They said -- you can marry only when you learn to live without your partner". Simply, when you say the line "I can't live without you", you're off to a really bad start.

Now that the picture of me being a wife, this principle makes sense, more and more each day. Just think about it, even NOT in the context of dying. When your husband/wife goes out for a business trip, you need be physically strong to do 50% more of your parental duties - chores, errands, affection, etc. When your husband/wife is ill, you need to be able to handle emergencies well, at the same time maintaining the emotional wellness, for the other's recovery, for your own health, and for your children's peace of mind. And, when the partner dies, you also can't "die" with the person when you have still have kids who depend on you.

And while it makes sense, the thought also becomes more and more scary, which makes me ask myself -- the very classic question you hear even in movies -- "Am I ready?". But for me, it does not mean: "Do I want to spend a lifetime with this man?" or "Am I capable of doing all wife duties?". It's more of... Will I still be whole when God decides to take away "the other half" ahead of me?

Then I realize, one doesn't know until he gets there! The most we can do for now, is to brush off all worries ...then be thankful everytime we wake up, with our loved ones still kicking. Say "I love you", hug, kiss, serve, forgive, enjoy the gift of life. :)