back to LJ

I'll be in my LJ for the mean time. I hope you can still remember your passwords :)

It is a fairytale. So it had an end.

I never thought my last post would be a premonition, when I said I'll start saying bigger and serious goodbyes — Goodbye work, goodbye house, goodbye lifestyle... and my list never ended till one big, unexpected, unwanted goodbye slapped me, just when I thought everything in my life's settling the way I wanted to. Because life's too dynamic than I knew.

He just left me, saying he's not happy. Up till now it feels weird typing that, as weird as I think of it everytime I wake up in the morning. We used to be happy. everyone knew we were happy. everyone saw we were happy. everyone was happy for us. It was just so... perfect. But then, yeah, I forgot, if it's perfect... it's probably too good to be true.

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I never meant to present my life now publicly. This just seems like a good idea to pause a little, from crying. and perhaps a good way to tell everyone that hey, I'm not okay. Don't you dare look for him on our next dinner, I dunno how shitty would I react.

Yes folks, it wasn't a match-made-in-heaven after all. It was just God's way to let me know what "perfect" means, and how it feels to be "genuinely happy" ...for almost 3 years at least. Or maybe God's giving me the full package, when I prayed for independence (see, be careful what you pray for).

Whenever I wake up, I still ask the classic question WHY. then I drag myself hardly to live life again, hoping it's just a nightmare, a joke, or God's sweet way to let me jump for too much joy, the moment he comes back ...then I end my day in prayer, telling God that "yeah, it's beyond my control, You have plans for me that just didn't go the way I wanted to... but yeah I know Your plans will always be great, and I am special with or without anyone.".

Then I ask for understanding, tons of it, because I still can't fully comprehend how one person can be unhappy in one snap. Then I ask to learn how to understand, because maybe I knew reasons, but chose to be blind all along. Then I ask to stop hoping, because it's torturous. Then I ask for the same understanding, for my family — who's grieving now, as much as I do.

Then I ask for strength and healing, also tons of them, because (as some of you may know) I chose to be independent months ago, so I'm moving out from home in a few days, and I have no idea how life will be when you know you just bid goodbye to almost everything, including the love you wanted to keep forever.

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Thank you to everyone who have sympathized, and empathized thus far. To all those who offered calls, talks, dinners, distractions, thank you — even though I don't know yet when I can face the world decently. To all, please include me in your prayers. and thank you for being a part of our sweet fairytale...
 

THIS IS IT! Goodbye AC Corporation!

I've said a lot of goodbyes since the year started — goodbye to friends leaving the country, to balikbayan friends who'll leave the country again, to a lot of stuff which I had to dispose, to this to that to this to that... BUT it's only today when I'll start saying bigger, and more serious goodbyes. (Hence, expect a lot of goodbye posts after this one. Yes there will be more!)

Yeah, this time, goodbye AC Corporation! As what I told my colleague once: this won't be like that time I left my first job, when I held back tears as I bid goodbye to my colleagues-slash-new-friends. Now, it's totally different: I just want to end things, fervently. The stay was more than 2 years, but there's no social life to leave — No attachments, no girlfriends, just a very few fond memories (is that good or bad? hehe), which I won't cry over, but yeah, okay... I'll miss somehow. hehe.


my most memorable task: one-week J2EE Training in BIR,
my first real teaching experience!


my most memorable non-work trip: calatagan outing!

As I say "goodbye AC", I also mean goodbye Alabang. Not that I won't step on this place again, ever. Of course I'll still be an Alabang girl every weekend! It's just that I'm leaving a lifestyle which I loved 100x than that in Makati. I had a not-so-urban-life here — not so tall buildings, trees, grassy empty lots, less pollution, less people and windy afternoons. you know what I mean?

A friend joked once that I was "probinsicated" here — I can't forget that time when I stayed here for 2 or 3 weeks straight, then I passed by SLEX again for the first time, realizing that it's been a loooong time since I last saw the latest, coolest billboards in SLEX. gee! I looked up with awe, almost the whole travel time. no kidding! HAHAHA!

Before leaving, I went to the roof deck to take some pix, from 5:30 pm to sunset. There I realized, I should have visited the spot on late afternoons, in those times I wanted to clear my mind. It was so windy, the place was just so... serene. Too bad it was my last day! Oh well. I'll definitely miss these:


ATC, Madrigal Ave. and Gold's Gym Alabang!!!


Northgate and Westgate: no, there's nothing much to miss,
but I'll miss this view (minus the dirty laguna bay)!!!


roofdeck: the bench where we used to hangout
for 20-30 mins after a quick lunch (when boss is around)!


roofdeck: the yosi spot for the boys


the sunset. the pretty pretty sunset!


...and South Center Tower (taken from outside, CCF area)

Oh, btw, I'll never forget the most important thing I had in AC — one thing I wasn't able to let go until the last minute. I loved it so much that I had to take a pic (hehe):


hehe. yes, my white vaio, and my pink mouse!

ANYWAY, I don't want to be so dramatic now. So I'm going to end this: To everyone I worked with, Thank you!

I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank the clients I worked with (you know who you are), who never heard up till now that I'm leaving. Sorry I wasn't allowed to say goodbye the way I wanted to, sooooo I'll say it here even if it may seem improper (better informal than never!): Thank you, and goodbye!

THIS IS IT! - not the end, but a wonderful start. So... see you around, au revoir!
 

New leader has Facebook problems

ZAGREB, Jan 12 (Reuters!) - Croatia's newly elected president has run into a problem -- how to accept thousands of new friends on Facebook...

..."I have 5,000 friends, which is the maximum allowed on Facebook. I also have another 7,000 waiting so I don't know how we'll work that out" the silver-haired, bespectacled law expert and classical music composer told state radio on Tuesday.

WHAT? seriously? do you really need to add those 12,000 "friends"? Do you know there's such thing as fan page? LOL. Read full article here. Oddly Enough!
 

half down, lots to go (NBI CLEARANCE!)

Now this isn't house-related: I went to NBI's satellite office in Tunasan Muntinlupa to renew my NBI clearance (beside SM Muntinlupa). After falling in line at window 3 (renewal) for almost 2 hours, and after waiting for my name to be called for window 6 (releasing) for another 2 hours &mdash no kidding!!! — I finally gave up and asked if I could go back some other day.

Good that they were friendly and not masungit, it was easy to get info on how to follow-up through phone and what information to give, etc... so there, I decided to just leave and go back when my clearance's ready for pick-up, it's just near our village anyway (yeah yeah, I should have waited OR left as soon as I was done with window 3 right? ugh.)

I wish I followed my officemate's advice — to get the renewal in Quiapo since it's faster there, and more systematic. I just thought it would not be practical if my name has a "HIT" then I have to go back after one week right? but at least, if I went to Quiapo, I should've avoided lots of hassles!

As my mom would say, "ano pa nga ba aasahan mo? ahensya ng gobyerno yan e!". Though I now defend *some* government agencies coz of the projects I'm handling, there's always some truth to her line! ANYWAY. At least, I'm done with one superdooper long line! I don't want to rant more... as tomorrow I can say "one down" again. hopefully.